By Lindsey Dykes
Trigger Warning: This article discusses sexual assault and trauma, which may be distressing for some readers. Please read with care and consider your own emotional well-being.
Sexual assault is defined as any involuntary, non-consensual sexual act or contact directed against another person. If it’s not an enthusiastic “YES” to intimate physical contact or if fear is in the room, then consent is not being given. The unfortunate reality is that we or someone we know has been impacted by sexual assault. When we think of sexual assault, we most often think about how mainstream media portrays it: a stranger cornering you in a back alley, hurting you. While those scenarios do happen, in reality, the VAST majority (80-90%) of sexual assaults are committed by someone the victim knows.
How do we heal from sexual assault?
You are more than your sexual assault. You have value and worth as a person. You are not damaged or broken. You have experienced a non-consensual event that will likely be followed by symptoms (e.g., hyper-sexuality, isolation, self doubt, disconnection from self or others, flashbacks, hypervigilance, etc.), and that’s where the work begins. We can shift our focus to prioritizing a safe and supportive environment FIRST. Healing starts when we feel safe to talk about our experiences and explore our feelings. Find your support – family, friends, support groups, mental health providers, faith, etc. We heal by finding our voices after the trauma and, for some people, by advocating for justice and change!
How can we help others?
START BY BELIEVING! If someone comes to you and says they have experienced a non-consensual sexual act, we need to believe them! “Victim-blaming” culture is still very much alive. Many people who experience sexual assault carry their experience(s) in shame and guilt. It is our role as mental health providers to help our clients understand their experience and place the blame where it truly belongs: on the perpetrators. It’s time to change the narrative. Sexual assaults wouldn’t happen if the perpetrators didn’t violate boundaries and autonomy.
Let’s start healing together!
If you or someone you know needs help, reach out to Evoke Mind and Body at 910.833.7122, the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1.800.656.4673, or another trusted individual.
